shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
