I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
