Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
