SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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