Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
