hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
