but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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