I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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