Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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