i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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