no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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