ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
