Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

I molested 6 butterflies tonight

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(206): View more from Washington

I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia

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(201): View more from New Jersey

just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life

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(773): View more from Illinois

NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty

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(272): View more from

He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!

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