I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
