You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
