plz talk dirty to me
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
