i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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