What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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