He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
