His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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