so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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