we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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