Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Shame - the story of my life.
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