why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize