Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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