I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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