if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
