He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
