there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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