i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
