Sponge bath it is.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
