just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
third nipple confirmed
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Enjoy the penises
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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