so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
