Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Vodka?
Forever.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
is it fun? or sober?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
