Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
