Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize