Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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