i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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