forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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