i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
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Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
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Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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