Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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