I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
