what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize