so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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