I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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