Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
