Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
