Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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