I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
