Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
