i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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