Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
