I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
