I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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