This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
