He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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