In America we eat man semen.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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