Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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