Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
