If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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