yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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