he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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