we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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