I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
