I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
